Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
