i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize