Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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