I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
