I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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