idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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