I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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