hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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