You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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