If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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