i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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