I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
