Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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