St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
