I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize