Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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