grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
