A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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