His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
