could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
