My room smells like vodka and shame
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
