that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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