So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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