I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
