No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
