Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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