I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
