guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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