Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
