we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
