Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
