probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
