I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
