I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
