We're facebook friends in real life
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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