the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
