The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
