i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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