I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I cockslap morals
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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