"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize