ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
