I must be too annoying 4 u.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize