How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
