dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
