so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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