At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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