Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So much Jack, so little girl.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
