Your dad touched me again.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
