Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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