This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
