morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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