Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
