Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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