Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
