Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
