Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
