dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
