Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
