if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When did angry sex become our thing?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
