i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
