Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
