dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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