I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
