I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
