1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize